Halftime. And yet I know that I will be back one day. :) To come here was one of my best decisions so far, even though not every day is full of amazing moments and great challenges to master:
My mood oscillates between elation and frustration, ups and downs (but until now far more ups than downs). Something in the middle doesn't seem to be possible. In one moment I'm allowed to guide a sledge, I could enjoy a really amazing experience/ natural spectacle or I just had the feeling to finally be somehow useful, trusted and proud that I mastered something on my own. In the next (rare) moment I just feel somehow not really 'arrived' yet. But in general I feel really well-balanced for the first time in a long while...Does that sounds paradoxical?
The root of all evil are, if you ask me, two difficulties:
1)TIME: Most of the times everyone keeps telling what I'm not able to do yet, instead of using the time in an effective way (anyways talking to me) and explaining me how it's done helping me to affront it one day unassisted. The daily schedule is really good organized, but still it happens that in stressful moments everything has to be prepared perfectly and most of all ridiculously fast. That's where it starts to be difficult for me! But still...I want to learn how to make it better and faster!
2)LANGUAGE: I try to integrate, but the language barrier, unlike my expectations, turns out to be a problem. Sometimes I do not really feel part of the group although we had really cool and funny moments together and everybody tries to express best. I think the situation wouldn' t even change if somebody would always translate, since just the fact that a translation is needed makes me different. It's not the same laughing together with the others than alone afterwards, once I heard the translation. Excluding for my part some people have really limited language skills concerning English, which doesn' t make this little unpleasantness easier to solve. It's a pity! I need to improve my not really existent Finnish faster! I wish I would have studied the language before...
Nevertheless I had a funny mo(ve)ment today, too. After a 20km trip the dogs crept the last meters home rather than they ran. They seemed really tired. I freed one of the leading dogs from his harness in order to bring him back home to his doghouse. Normally they jump and wrench once they are finally taken away from the main wire they are clamped on during the ride. He sat still, not moving at all while I was holding him at his collar. But then suddenly he changed his mind and jump over the main wire. His unexpected, powerful movement made me fall face down in the snow entangling one foot in his harness and the other in the main wire. He pulled me over the slippery with fresh snow covered icy surface until a sledge blocked his path. Certainly he wasn't as tired as I imagined. It was soooo funny and obviously I had a broader audience since the tourists hadn't left yet. (Don't worry! No harm done to anyone) :)
Knowledge of the day: No one is born a master! I guess not even 'our masters'...
Yes, I am definitely going to miss her! Thank you, Caroola! :)